Dearest Baby Geniuses:

I have a bit of advice for those of you who are the future darlings of the professional world: do NOT belittle, berate, bother, or insult your administrative personnel (when you finally have them).
These people can, if they so choose, make your work life hell or, in many cases, they can make it run more smoothly than you ever dreamed.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Yours truly
PER
Bob Worker-Bee
Temp Secretary
/bw

Dear Senior Family Member:

We are pleased to be hosting a memorial mixer for your mother/sister/grandmother/aunt/cousin at the Best Western Quality Inn next Thursday. We hope it will be an opportunity to share memories of her, as well as a chance to meet extended (and estranged) members of the family. There will be a memorial service at the Seniors' Centre in the afternoon, at which everyone is welcome, followed by a buffet in the lobby of the inn. While everyone is welcome at the service, we ask that only serious mourners join us at the buffet (don't forget your drink ticket!), as we have limited space.
Please R.S.V.P. before this weekend, as we are sure that space will be at a premium, and we would like to reserve rooms at the inn in advance. We are aware several alternate choices for accommodation, and a tourism website will surely provide some others.
If anyone needs a ride feel free to contact us as we are happy to organize carpools.
Yours in mourning,
The Family.

Dear Toonville Kids:

I never say this right, but I'm gonna try again. I like you guys plenty. If you ever have an event you want me to be at, a coffee you want to drink with me, a favour you want done, I'm there. That is, if it's at all feasible and doesn't involve pain or physical labour.
I'm more than happy to sit in the hot sun, dehydrated, on a sugar high in order to watch you do a hop, skip and a jump; I'll sit through three scary and pretty bad bands in order to cheer you on at open mike night; I'll come to a weekend retreat and try to be on speaking terms with God. Whatever.
But you gotta ask. None of you have seemed to need my input in your full and busy lives, and while that's great, it kind of makes me want to run back to a city where people seem to need my time and energy and input.
I have a flight to that very city on Friday. If I work hard and I'm lucky, I'll get a job out there and I won't be back here until a particular weekend in August (cause someone asked me to be somewhere, and I'm gonna try).
In all probability, I'm going to be back hanging around before then, but if you don't want to hedge your bets, gimme a ring sometime this week.
Best of luck,
H.

Dear The Two Girls:

Who are not at all alike, nope, so it could really be any two girls, but specifically, you two, doppelgang-kids. I haven't talked to you in way too long. I am dying for my required dose of your brand of crazy (two entirely distinct brands of crazy, one completely different from the other), and your entirely reliable advice on a variety of important (to me) subjects (not that you would ever give me the same advice, you completely different individuals, you).
Sigh. More proof? I really want to hear from each of you.
Love and kisses to one, hugs and joy to the other,
H.

Dearest 2 am:

I know we've come to depend on one another. I'm awake, waiting for you to arrive, I feel as though I can no longer sleep until you're here. Even when I might be better off tucking in at 12 or 1, I stay up to catch a glimpse of you.
You were the hardest hour for a while, the thing I had to fight through. But finally we became friends, you and I.
And now, although I hate to say it, I think I have to stop seeing you. It's time for me to return to the more reasonable hours. They don't promise your quiet and mysterious way, but they don't leave me feeling tired the next day either. And I won't do the same things with them.
But you're too much for me, I'm too old to have the kind of fun you seem to want on a regular basis. We can still go out together sometimes, maybe on a Friday or Saturday. But I can't see you every night anymore.
Let Me Sleep,
H.

Dear Readers:

You assure me you're out there, so okay.
If you want to know what the post below is about, please visit
SilverRingThing, and click on Play Letter Video. It's annoying, but you'll get the idea.
Thanks,
H.

Dear My Future Lover(s):

Please know that I will expect so much more of you than that your body be "pure" for me. I don't care if you've slept with 1 or 100 girls and/or boys before me. I don't care if you don't have the "gift of your virginity" to give to me.
I don't think you'll respect me any less (or more, for that matter) because you've had sex before. I don't think it made your expectations of me any different. I don't worry that I'm being compared to others who've gone before me.
I'm going to ask you for two things, two highly important things: kindness and respect. If you can give me those things, you'll be giving me the greatest gift.
Kisses,
H.

Dear monotheism:

Right now, I have a choice. I don't believe in you. I don't mean what you stand for, the mono, the one. I mean I don't believe in YOU, theologies. You come to me and say, this way is right, this way is easy. This way will get you all the good things.
But if I believe, if I give in to your open arms and your promises, then people I love, not just one, but so very many, well I'll be against them. I'll have to look at their warmth and their light, and say "I can't choose you." And I'm not strong enough to do that.
With kindest regards,
H.
P.S. Plus, I'd have to give up tv, movies, music, books I like. Do you see that happening?